Wagering is a progressive illness that is often driven by deep seated emotions. It is painful, confusing, frustrating. You may be feeling many emotions and having many damaging thoughts, including suicide. It is sad, but some gamblers arrive at the taken wrongly conclusion dewapoker slot that their families, friends, the world, would be better off without them. If you or someone you know is at this time, or close to it, there are a few things to consider.
If you are causing pain to someone, see your face must love you. In a cold world that can use all the love and kindness it can get, that is something special and precious. If someone cares about you enough to be hurt by your wagering, then you have a reason to live. Your death won’t stop his or her pain. That thought pattern is just an indication of how confused a problem gambler can become because of the wagering addiction.
In order to help you to understand the problem better and to get a handle on your feelings and thoughts, let’s separate them. When people act purely for emotional reasons, they will do things that can cause problems later on that has been avoided if they’d taken the time to believe them through. You can do this little exercise while you are alone, so answer the simple questions honestly and as best you can. You are the only individual that will spot them, so you have nothing to lose and maybe, something to gain.
Start by writing a list of ten things you love in this world or your priorities. If wagering is number one, be honest, placed it at the top of the list. If it is second or third, placed it there. List the people you love, your career or goals in life, things you would like to do, anything at all that matters to you, but make sure it is something you love, not something you think you should love based on society’s values.
Once you have your list, look it over carefully and change any of the items if you decide they belong in a different order.
The next phase is to write a short description, it could even be just a few words, to describe your thoughts, what you think, not feel, about that subject. For instance, let’s say the third thing on your list, the third most important thing in your life, is getting a better job. For your thoughts beside it you might write, “more money would help me to take better care of men and women I love, more money would give me more time to spend wagering. ” Write your thoughts about each item in the list.
Like I said, be honest. Like the example above, you may have more than one thought and they may even apparently conflict with each other.
Next, take some time and write down your feelings about each thoughts you just wrote down. In the example above you said you thought it would give you more time with your family. Your feeling about that might be, “I feel guilty because even when I am with them I am thinking about wagering. ” Guilt is a feeling. We are removing thoughts and feelings, but also relating them to each other. So write your feelings, whatever they may be, beside each thought.
You have a thinking mind and a feeling mind, your conscious mind and your subconscious. A lot of the confusion people suffer from in life is that their thoughts and feelings, their subconscious and conscious, may be in conflict. An example of that is, “I feel like going to the casino tonight, but I know I will spending some time with my kids. ” One part of you feels one thing while another part thinks something that is in conflict.
In the battle between the subconscious feeling mind and the conscious thinking mind, the subconscious usually wins, in the long run. That makes it important, in order to get your behavior under control, to find a stronger sentiment to make you want to do the same things you think you should do. Writing down your feelings and thoughts is how you start that process.
For many people with addictions, finally changing the behavior often only happens after he or she has hit rock bottom and has suffered and caused so much pain, that there is a strong emotional pull to correct the situation as well as to ease the pain. While that takes place to many people, it doesn’t have to happen in order for you to change if you can start removing thoughts and feelings and really taking a good look at them.
A waterfall is a good example of how this exercise can help you to understand yourself and your problem better. If you are standing directly under a waterfall, let’s say the waterfall of emotions and thoughts that bombard you every day, it is difficult to see clearly. But if you step back, out of the flow of water, or thoughts and feelings, you can see the waterfall much more clearly. When you step back and look at the waterfall, it looks much unique of it did when your eyes were full of water. When you look at the thoughts and feelings from the outside of them, it allows you get a better grip and to realize why you can begin to make changes.
If you have someone to discuss this list with, someone who might help and whom you can trust, then share it with him or her. Another alternative is to sit in on a Gamblers Nameless meeting. You can just sit and listen if you like. In hearing their ideas and opinions, their thoughts and feelings, you may gain some insight about your own that will help you to sort them out. Read your list just prior to into the meeting and then listen to what the people are saying. Sit in the back, if you like, you don’t have to do anything, but sit and listen, if you like. As you listen to the people in the meeting, try to separate their thoughts from their feelings. After a few years, you will appreciate how they got where they are and how they managed to change.
If you can’t find a GA meeting nearby, then try an AA meeting. Addiction is addiction and though people with drinking problems may not be exactly like you, they may have some similarities that will help you to understand yourself better. One thing that you should know about life and being human is that many people reach low points in their lives, but somehow manage to survive them and to live fulfilling lives afterward. You can do it, too. Hang on a little longer, make your list and share it with someone or go to a meeting and start working on making a better future for yourself. It is never too late.
Using this list is a way to clarify your thinking and feeling. Look at the things you love first. Next, look at what you approach each one. Finally, look at what you feel about that thought. Do you see the conflicts? This is the source of your confusion. You may not be able to correct it all overnight, but at least you get a first step to understand it and to help yourself and the other people in your life.